I was talking with my sister yesterday when she brought up something that struck a nerve. My mom is going to take my sister’s youngest son for the week next week because she’s been missing her grandkids.
Why would that upset me? Because we live 3 hours away from Mom, invited her to come visit in July and were turned down, then invited her to come to the fair with us and were turned down. Several times when my nephews were young I heard Mom comment on how she couldn’t wait for the kids to be old enough to take to the fair. She actually has a grandchild in 4H with projects on display to go see, and now she’s not interested.
Driving can’t be the issue, because she’s driving further to meet my nephew than she would to come see us, and she’ll do it twice within the same week.
I’m so glad that my kids don’t know how many times the other grandchildren have had visits, let alone with grandparents staying one or two nights (for us it’s always here and gone the same day) and having the grandkids come stay at the hotel with them and go swimming. (The last time Mom came here was Thanksgiving last year.) Or about the back-to-school shopping trips, or all of the school programs that couldn’t be missed. They made it to one of our kid’s programs – we’re three hours away, my sister is nine hours away.
Now my sister and Mom want us all to meet at a State Park for a long weekend next summer and share a cabin. When I was growing up, my dad took us to this park every summer. Mom always stayed home. She hated this part of the state. She’s not an outdoor gal. Now she apparently can’t get enough of this part of the state and wants us all to vacation together.
For us, this would be very stressful. My sister has raised her kids very differently from our family. She pictures her oldest two boys and my girls sharing a pop-up camper. My girls have been raised to hold modesty as a virtue and are very uncomfortable with that idea. We won’t let that happen. When sis goes anywhere, it immediately looks as if the suitcases exploded. We’re quite a bit more contained than that. My sister and her husband swear like sailors. They reign it in a bit for us, but there are words they don’t consider swearing which we do. This park is also only an hour drive for my sister while it is five or six hours for us.
After this latest new item, I’m inclined to just let them have their trip together and not get in the way. It’s not as if we’re looking forward to it anyway. I was only going to go along with it because it seemed to be something that was important to Mom.
My DH patiently lets me get it all out to him. I don’t have the guts to have it out with Mom. If the kids ever catch on and get hurt by all this, I’ll have to.