This past weekend we went to see my mom for her birthday – the first time we visited since Dad died. New responsibilities are hitting my horizon now and I’m finding that it takes a bit of mental adjustment. Mom added my sister and I to her bank accounts and safe deposit box. It makes sense, but signing the paper for the box made me feel a bit odd. I’ve been thinking about the fact that I’m the closest responsible person to her geographically. Her sisters are closer, but for legal purposes and such, it’s me. My sister lives nine hours away from Mom and I’m only three.
Do we ever stop growing up? This is a whole new level of responsibility. Mom is in good health and is an independent person, but my mind does jump down the road a bit. My grandmother (Mom’s mom) lived to see 93, and many of her sisters lived into their 90’s. One of the sisters reached 103! This group of sisters also had eye problems: cataracts, macular degeneration, and some glaucoma. Mom was recently told that she has cataracts starting to form.
How will I balance my home life and responsibilities and also be available to her to drive her to some of these important appointments which will require someone to drive her home? Home school is still catching up from the week of Dad’s funeral.
Math is the subject which is still behind as it requires more intensive instruction than the other subjects and I keep myself readily available for questions while she does the assignments. This is the area she has the least self confidence in, although that seems to be changing a bit this year.
So, if I need to be there for Mom, home school could suffer. If I’m not there when Mom needs me, I’ll feel guilty even though she won’t want me to. Home school aside, it’s three hours of driving each way and with today’s gas prices that also means about $50 each trip to her house (nice, round number). The drive time also means that the kids outside activities could suffer as I’m the main driver and the only adult who knows when everyone has to be wherever. I’m so thankful that DH’s mom moved to our town last winter.
I’m probably just borrowing trouble. I tend to think too far ahead and imagine the worst possible scenarios. I know that family in the area will be there for Mom too. It will just take time for the new realities to settle into my brain.