Clearly, I’ve not been faithful to writing in this blog over the past year. That’s something to work on. We’re hoping for a better year in 2021, but things don’t look a lot different from 2020 so far.
One change since I last posted is that my MIL is back in her own home. That was a weird and stressful situation, but I think she’s happy. She was avoiding DH that final week she was here, scooting out the door before he came downstairs in the morning, and not coming back from her house until 8pm or so. We think she was afraid of hearing the actual day she needed to move out. We aren’t sure why as she was clearly miserable here, but wow did she blow up when DH told her. Fortunately, the school was sending the high schoolers home for virtual school and had a bunch of requirements. We used these requirements as justification for needing the room in which MIL was staying. Her house would have its kitchen fully in order by the date DH gave, and all major appliances were in. The biggest thing at the time was that all doors were not installed and no closets were put back together yet.
By mutual agreement, we did not gather for Thanksgiving or Christmas (she moved home a week before Thanksgiving). DH and I are not angry or nursing a grudge, and I hope she isn’t either. We were just together a long time and we need a long time to heal from it. At one point, DH was considering a job which would have required us to move. His mom had moved to our town to be close to him, so we considered building an in-law apartment on whatever home we would purchase. Shortly after she moved back home, DH told me that we would never have an in-law apartment. Neither MIL or our kids ever knew that a move was considered, so that expectation wasn’t out there for anyone beyond the two of us to expect.
Our son was allowed to go back to school in person a few weeks ago. Of course, he’s been hiding a cold the past week, fearing a school-imposed quarantine. He’s in a two hour building trades class and already missed two months of hands-on instruction. Also, his pre-calc and physics grades dropped during the virtual stretch and he’s sighing with relief to be back with the teacher. Yes, their classes were live, but it’s not the same over the computer.
Our middle has had some challenges with school. We allowed her to drop to two classes. It was a compromise. She’s really struggling with virtual classes, but we didn’t want her to skip a semester entirely. One of her professors wants the kids to meet in groups, virtually of course, and that is not an easy task. Fortunately, this girl is no quitter and will struggle on through frustrations.
So things with the younger two kiddos is overall good.
Then we get to our oldest. She moved in with her boyfriend. Joy of joys. We are not this young man’s biggest fans, and not just because they are now living together. The first time we met to get to know him, this young man made fun of my lunch order, never said thank you for the meal, he and our daughter fairly ditched us while we walked campus together, and he told us personal things about his parents which frankly I didn’t ever need to know. It was not a good first impression and the impression hasn’t changed, though I’ve reminded myself of the list of his positives a number of times.
This child told us about the move via text…even though we had seen her in person just a week earlier. She hadn’t really been crazy about us coming to see her (it had been four months), but she wanted us to bring the rest of her things to her. In December she told us, via text, that she was dropping the teaching major to simply be an English major and would graduate this spring. I can’t recall the last time she actually answered when we called – and we don’t call often. We haven’t crowded this girl with calls, texts, whatever since she started school. The safest thing for me to do these days is to text her a picture of our cats once or twice a month. She doesn’t tell us much about her life and doesn’t have any interest in what’s happening back home. Her father had a disk removed from the spine in the neck region just a week ago. He called her the day before the surgery – she knew he was going to call because he asked what her availability would be that day – and she was talking to other people on her end during the less than five minute call. I sent her cat pictures yesterday, and although she actually communicated a bit further with me, never asked about her dad.
I’m starting to get excited about having a craft room. I have been making plans for my oldest child’s room for a while now, thinking toward the day that she would no longer need it. Then it was MIL’s room, then my son’s classroom, now storage for the bathroom fixtures soon to be installed. The bath remodel begins next week and will take four to six weeks. After that, the popcorn ceiling will come down and the light fixture will be changed. It’s getting flaky. After that, DH wants to use the room to store our things while we take the popcorn out of the master bedroom, replace the light fixture, and repaint the walls. THEN I can set up my craft room. It’s partially set, as we bought a futon after DD1 moved out. She needs to know that there is still a place for her to sleep if she wants to visit. Also, I went ahead and bought a desk for sewing and crafting so DS would have a good place to do his school work. I already had a desk picked out and saved in a wish list, so that wasn’t a hardship.
Meanwhile, I’m looking at a myriad of bookshelf styles, deciding what I want: ladder style, traditional open shelves, combination of open shelves on top and doors to hide things on the bottom shelves, color, etc. It’s a lot of fun. I’ve already sorted through some of my fabric scraps. I had a bunch of manila folders which had filed DD2’s home school work, so I cut those down to fit the plastic chest of drawers which was purchased during the flood repair. Now the drawers are filled with small “bolts” of scrap fabric. I love opening the drawer and seeing all of the colors grouped, fabric types grouped, and all of it easy to see to make selection for projects easier. More sorting needs to be done, but it’s a start. Again, I can’t fully set up the room until the bathtub, toilet, faucets, etc are out and other renovations are completed.
This room is going to be my oasis, and I’m loving that I can make it as girly as I want. In decorating the rest of the home, I’ve been considerate and kept the masculine perspective in mind. Some guys don’t care how their homes are decorated, DH does. In my room, my taste will rule. I’m adding some bling. I’ve already purchased a small, blingy lamp which DH shook his head over. Don’t care. I’m getting inspiration from Pinterest too. That is one dangerous website for someone addicted to crafting.
So, while the year has already had some challenges, there are positives on the horizon. That is where I need to stay focused.